:: Official Announcement - MOVED ::

I managed to export all 900+ posts over to wordpress...in just a click of a button.

So just in case you forgot...

www.chiaochyi.wordpress.com

:: Welcome Back ::

Dear family, friends and students,

Welcome back! I decided to take a break because life was getting a little too overwhelming and I needed to just be still and know that God is indeed God, that I can trust in Him and take Him at His Word. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!

It wasn't such a long break after all. It was long enough for much meditation and getting my focus back on track. I decided to do some revamp to this blog, namely this: to be really focused about my purposes of blogging, so that I can continue writing unreservedly about my life and what God is teaching me. Then it really wouldn't matter what others say, so long I am sure that I am pleasing the Lord with the words and the meditations of my heart.

Psalm 19:14

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

If you think otherwise, that what I have said is inappropriate for a public audience, or I have written something wrongly, then I'd appreciate it if you drop me an email or let me know (instead of telling someone else about it, which happened and bothered me alot) if you were truly concerned about me. I would be more than willing to make clarifications, or apologise or retract what I have written if I have truly done so. If not, this place will continue to tell of my life - of my family, my friends, lessons God is teaching me everyday as a Christian, a mom, a wife etc. I'd also like to say that you are reading this blog of your own free will.

I read the verse below recently and was encouraged by it. Paul was exhorting the elders in the church of Ephesus, telling of the trials and even prison chains that awaited him as he ministered. Of course, my life is nothing like his. I have no such suffering to speak of, but I believe God has so many things to teach us through the things that come our way each day. We each have our trials and temptations to go through.

Acts 20:24

²⁴ But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

I want to finish my life on earth with joy, to not be moved or shaken when winds blow.

***

On a side note, I have also made a shift to wordpress. I like the templates they have, which enable me to add more pages to my blog. I can also upload documents too. I've created different pages that will stay, and I hope it always reminds me of why I am doing this in the first place.

So change your bookmarks and visit

www.chiaochyi.wordpress.com :)

:: S.T.O.P. ::

I'm stopping for a long while so don't bother to pop by in the near future.

Meanwhile, when one has a child, life continues as per normal, no matter what comes my way. My heart has never been so broken and sorrowful before. So instead of spewing it all out like a fool would (as it says in Proverbs), I will be quiet and seek the Lord for comfort and answers.

I'm still contactable by email at chiaochyi@gmail.com if you want to say hi. If you know my number, you know where to get me. I'm still around physically, just not virtually.

:: Weary or just tired ::

The first day at home was very very tiring, and so was the second morning. I don't think it's just Hannah though, it's everything that's coming at the same time from everywhere. I've been asking myself, and asking God, "Why so downcast? Don't I have a right to be so?" I'm tired, in all senses of the word, and I really need Him now.

I drafted the post below a night ago and decided to put it up here today after some thought. I did not want to do it carelessly. It's really just my heart's burden.

:: Honest and No Frills ::

For those who know, yes, we have a crisis going on in our lives and our church. Yes, of course we know how troubled our hearts have been over this all these months. I just want to say a few things about it. I might elaborate in future but I'll leave this as it is for now.

• A crisis is an opportunity to glorify God. Yes, it really is! Can you see it as such? Only God can help us, and when He does, we can only show how great, how good, how excellent He is. It is about HIM. Remember that when you speak, remember that when you think, remember that when you're with family and friends as you gather this CNY. It is not something to be laughed or mocked at. Exercise temperance.

• Don't start with the "but he is doing it too" syndrome. Let's all start with ourselves and look only at our own behaviour and our own responses. For God will hold us accountable for only our own conduct and not the conduct of others. This has been something that God has been teaching me. I hold only myself accountable for all I do and say, and I will never, ever want to bring shame and dishonour to my God through my words, thoughts and actions.

• Let's all apply ourselves to Scripture, let's exercise ourselves unto godliness, let's read God's Word and not think about our own assessment of everything, or what we feel. Let's mirror what anyone or everyone says in the light of God's Word. Let's all be still, be praying, to be slow to speak, for we all know how deceitful our hearts and mouths can be.

• Let's just all be quiet and seeking God only. Be still. Be quiet. There's just too much noise going around us.
  

Psalm 19
12 Who can understand his errors?
Cleanse me from secret faults.
13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins;
Let them not have dominion over me.
Then I shall be blameless,
And I shall be innocent of great transgression.
14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

:: Updates ::

Today Hannah had her first taste of watermelon. Before this, she only saw watermelons in books and at the supermarket. Today she saw a watermelon that was sliced and she sunk her teeth into it. As you can see, she loved it.

Tomorrow is my first day as homemaker at home. David kindly reminded me that at long last my ambition has been fulfilled! That is true...I used to tell my friends that my ambition was to be a housewife, to stay home to care for my family. I am privileged in the sense that I'm still staying with my parents-in-law and we have a helper at home to help with the chores and the meals. I cannot imagine doing everything on my own yet, as much as I am eager to have my own home in the near future.

I am truly excited to work with the time God has blessed me with. There is so much to do. I need to spend some time setting up a proper routine. I would also like to be accountable with my time and not squander it away just because I am no longer working outside the home.

For now I am just thankful I do not have to wake at 6am every morning to get to school on time. I do not have to say goodbye to my sleeping daughter, or send her to my mom's in the morning. I do not have to (and should not) grumble about not having enough rest because of trying hard to juggle between family and work. I realise not every working mother can take such a step as easily as me. I see my colleagues struggle and they envy my decision. So I must be thankful that God has and will always provide for our family as we honour Him.

:: My New Friend ::

I thought I'd like to introduce my new friend to you before I forget. She's nameless for now because I'm not very good at naming things, or people for that matter. It took David and me about 9 months to decide on a name for Hannah. In fact, we only confirmed her name (after some extended family 'conferences') a day before she was delivered.

Anyway, I consider this macbook a partial farewell gift from the Ministry of Education because I used my Learning Development Scheme (LDS) grant before I'm striked out from their payroll. I would never have considered a macbook because I basically dislike change of any kind. I took awhile to think about it and decided to give it a try because of all the reasons I use the computer anyway.

So far, I am liking the macbook very very much. The change isn't as great. Here's why I like my macbook:

• I especially like the font book. I used to be a font addict in my university days. I can name most of the fonts used in advertisements and such haha. The font book allows me to classify and organise my fonts. This makes it very easy to choose a font to suit the design I have in mind. I'm currently trying to do with less fonts so I don't clutter my mac.
• I am amazed at how quickly downloads take. In fact, I downloaded 12 sermons in a few minutes! Just a click of the button.
  
• I love the feel of the keys when I type.
• The trackpad is pretty cool. It can double-click, right-click and scroll...all in one flat rectangular thing
  
• I finally have an in-built webcam and can skype with my brother and sister-in-law in the States.

So all in all, it isn't that bad. It was a little frustrating to get around photoshop at first, but I'm getting the hang of it. I'm also looking out for avenues to use my creativity and love for design to serve the Lord. Somehow there doesn't seem to be much opportunity for the moment. I am keeping a lookout.

Let me know if you have any names in mind for my new friend. I called my benq 'QQ' previously, named after me :)

:: I Won a Contest!!! ::

I can't contain my excitement, and I'm pleased to announce that I won a contest! It's the first ever in my life haha. Thanks to my mom and mum-in-law actually :)

Check it out here. 

:: Spaces ::

We've been busy creating spaces in our room over the past few days, and I am glad to say that David and I are very pleased with our new arrangement.

A new shelf has been added and it houses all our books (Yippeee from me!) and David has his little cosy corner of a sofa and reading light. He can also look out of the window from there, and Hannah can join him in that little space because her books have been transferred there. We can also watch her more easily at the corner of our eye when she's walking about the room. Our study table now faces the window with a good view since we're on the top floor.

What's left will be some spring cleaning of the cupboards; throwing out what is not needed and sorting out mostly Hannah's belongings.

I love January. It always signifies new beginnings :)

:: Missing Family ::

I feel as if they're all staring at me and saying hi in this photo. Do they miss me? I hope so. I know my mom does! I realise family dynamics do change when we get married, and it isn't anything bad. But the attachment kind of remains the same. With family, the love is almost unconditional. I can just imagine the fun we'll all have if I went along. But Hannah definitely cannot survive a 24 hour plane ride I think.

All I know is they went to Disneyland and the Grand Canyon. And I would like to go someday too.

Well 4 more days and they're back.

:: Random Updates ::

• I was horrified to find out that school was starting on 2nd Jan instead of 5th Jan. I don't know how it began but all along I've been hallucinating that school begins on Mon, 5th Jan. I suspect it was my dear husband who has been convincing me that my hallucinations were reality haha. So I'm currently grappling with "To Kill A Mockingbird", "Red Sky in the Morning" and "Bridge to Teribithia" ....now how am I going to read 3 texts and teach it to 7 classes all at the same time? I really don't know.
  

• I am sick and losing my voice. That is also not a very good thing because I need to teach soon.
  

• My parents and brother have been away in the States for 10 days and it seems like it has been a really long time. Hannah might be able to walk well by the time they're back, I think?

• Hannah had her last dose of one of her immunisation jabs today. She's at an average height of 73cm and an above-average weight of 9kg.

• I feel like cycling.
  

:: New Year? New Goals? ::

In 2 days it'll be the year 2009. In that split second when the clock strikes 12, we will be stepping into another year. Last year, I was busy getting used to motherhood; feeding, burping, changing diapers and singing to Hannah. Her birth naturally signalled a new beginning to the year ahead. I didn't make any specific goals for myself, only that I wanted to do my best in the most 2 important roles that God has given me - wife and mother.

This year it is different again with regards to plans for the year ahead. During my short break with David, with paper and pen in my hand, I found myself writing down things that have so many question marks beside them. A new home? It'll be at least 6 months before prices begin to fall....they're currently skyhigh. I've been praying that I'll never run before God's time for this. A new schedule when I resign from teaching? ...And many more too personal to pen down. I found myself unable to make definite goals for my year ahead. It was only in the everyday things that I was able to pen down some plans. Some of these include:

• Updating Hannah's physical and mental development, and spiritual instruction - Babies grow so fast in their early years. If I'm not careful, I'll keep doing the same things with Hannah without realising that she has so much potential for more instruction.
  

• A Healthy Lifestyle - diet and exercise. This is one I do need to work on! David and I had a nice morning jog with Hannah in her pram this week. She seemed to be enjoying the morning breeze as well - minus the effort from huffing and puffing!
  

• A more disciplined Spiritual Life - I've been contemplating waking up early to read my Bible instead of leaving it to Hannah's late morning naptime. In this way I can devote the 2 naptimes to administration and other matters instead of reading my Bible then and being distracted with all the things I need to do before she wakes. Anyway I do feel quite awake when I give her her morning feed at around 6am.
  

• A more tidy and meticulous housekeeper (err, I mean roomkeeper). It's been terribly difficult to keep the room neat with all the stuff that keeps streaming in and out. The current mess has to do with Hannah's mountain of birthday presents that have to be put away somewhere until she can wear/play with them. Also, our library has been growing but the shelves haven't. So you can imagine the challenge I have.

So I have only small-picture plans for my new year. On second thought, all these small-picture plans will amount to big changes if I am faithful in all the little things everyday. As for the big picture plans, I am still waiting on God for His purpose and plans for my life at this moment. It isn't anything to worry about when I know God in always in control.

David also reminded me that although the new calendar year does signify new beginnings, it doesn't mean we have to evaluate our lives and come up with new goals and plans only at this time of the year. New beginnings can start anytime of the year as we seek God and His will for our lives.

Blessed New Year everyone!

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecclesiastes 3:11a

:: Very Occupied ::

Ok this is a real blog break - for a week at least. I need to get my room, family and mind in order as I tick off the to-d0 lists floating about in my head.

It's Hannah's Birthday week! Some days I can't believe she's turning one soon. Has it really been that fast, or slow? I can't really say. There has been so many changes in her 1st year...it has been a blessing watching her grow and gain more independence. Of course, I also realise she's a bundle of energy...David says she's like an explosion of energy rather. She can't walk but she thinks she can.

Ok off I go. Flickr will be updated, but not so for this space - for now.

:: Blog Break - On Vacation ::


















I'm off to windy shores to get some sea breeze and relax with family for a few days. Be back end next week!

:: Currently in My Mind ::

Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph Joseph

I'd better get those lessons churned out soon soon soon.

...

Blog break till Children's Camp (24-27th Nov) is over.

update: seems I do have things to blog about :)

:: Want to Make Something? ::

Anyone interested in making something? This is a good place to start if you have fabrics on hand. I think I have some fabrics...but not so much time. Shall leave the link here for future reference.

:: Blessed Birthday ::

(missing from photo - little Samuel)

To my brother-in-law Daniel whom I hold in highest esteem - for his steadfast love for God in all of life's difficult circumstances, his constant dependence on the Lord to lead a spirit-filled life, the integrity that he shows, his love for the family (his own family, his parents, his brothers) and so much more.

Matthew 6:33
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

:: Trip to the library ::

It was a fulfilling trip to the library today. It wasn't in the plan to go, but we dropped by. Hannah read mostly monkey books (it's her favourite animal for now). I haven't been to the library for awhile. Firstly, I always end up paying fines because I don't make enough effort to return my books on time. Secondly, I know I can't finish reading most of the books I borrow anyway.

I was pleased with the variety of books offered on loan there mainly because 2 of them cannot be found in the bookstores over here. My mother-in-law ordered The New First Three Years (White) through Amazon and it was costly to have it shipped here. It's generally an informative book about the physical, mental and emotional development of babies in their first 3 years of life. It is helpful but as with all books in general, I wouldn't recommend all their suggested methods. Don't Make Me Count to Three (Plowman) was a book I was curiously interested in but I didn't find it in the bookshops, so it was a pleasant surprise to find it on the library shelves. The other 2 are just books I intend to browse.

I'm looking forward to some reading! Oh and my sis-in-law brought back 3 scrapbook magazines from Australia too! :)

:: Grand plans thwarted ::

We had great plans for the long weekend, especially today. Swimming? The Park? Sentosa musical fountain? Just simple happy times together.

But poor Hannah came down with a fever last night and she's been passing out everything she has eaten. She's still active and happy sometimes.

So there...quiet time at home.

:: Feeling pathetic ::

I feel pathetic when

• there's unspoken tension - worse than spoken ones
• my thoughts run in my head round and round and up and down and it torments me because no one can listen now
• my husband is away (again and again and again)
• I get only just about 3 hours a day with my daughter today and tomorrow because of work

And I'm starting to wonder what the definition of home is. I'm staying at my parents' place these few days. I think home is where my husband and daughter are - of whom I have almost no time with now. It makes a difference to have a soulmate to talk to.

Other than drowning my sorrows in bed while my daughter sleeps soundly (I will join her too), I will look up and whisper a prayer...many prayers.

Psalm 18
1 I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

:: A Day in the Life ::

My brother took such nice photos today I decided to scrapbook a day in the life. Today was relaxing and pleasant because I was on childcare leave.

***

On a relevant but not-so-relevant note, A pal commented that my blog is full of Hannah these days. Well, I do agree I haven't had much time to sit and pen down my thoughts. So in the meantime I do updates of her because many depend on these updates here :) and also it is more lighthearted than many issues in life for now. Much has been going on and there is so much in my heart. However, not everything is profitable for others to read. I can't remember the reference, but in Proverbs, a fool reveals all his thoughts (I'll check up the reference another time). I take this in the light that one cannot and should not blabber every single thing he is thinking about. It isn't wise to do so anyway. So I take my blogging rather seriously actually. If I have nothing edifying or good to say, I don't say it. This space is for my to share my life, my family and my journey with the Lord.

I have another day of leave tomorrow, and we will be going swimming if the weather is good :)