:: Wisdom Wednesday - Communicating with my Heavenly Father ::

I know I've been unable to keep up with this one for awhile. I'm not even sure if this post is appropriate to its original intentions for Wisdom Wednesday. Nevertheless, I hope to strive to do this weekly and faithfully so I can challenge myself and be changed by God's Word as I fulfil my ministry as a mother at home.

Hannah has recently been able to communicate with us by saying words like 'please', 'drop', 'no more', 'no' (this is a frequent one), 'ummm' (meaning to eat), 'kick' and some others I can't recall for now. She is also trying to imitate the words that we speak to her. It is certainly delightful to hear my child communicating with me. Of course, there are times when she utters a whole string of gibberish which I do not understand, but I know she is trying to tell me something. Then I have to play the guessing game. It is frustrating both for her and me when this happens.

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

I'm so glad my relationship with my Heavenly Father is nothing like that. He know my needs even before I ask Him. He understands my thoughts. In other words, He knows my every move! I can either tremble at that thought in fear when I am sneaky about my doings, or I can find comfort in the fact that God knows me so well I can always depend on Him. I can ask Him for my needs because I know He'll always give me something good, just as I love to give Hannah good things too.

Matthew 7:7-11
7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

I am glad that being a mother has taught me many things about my own relationship with God my Heavenly Father. Our human relationships seems so insignificant when I compare it to the relationship that I have as a child of God.

:: Supress, Distract or Substitute? ::

Just read this off a parenting book and I thought it would be helpful to remember.

To supress is to deny the child a specific action. To distract is to attempt to redirect the child to a new activity. Substitution, in contrast, offers an equally desirable experience similar to the original one that caught your toddler's curiosity, but the place and timing will be under Mom's control.

I am still learning to strike a balance as Hannah learns to explore on her own two feet. She wants to go everywhere and touch everything. She usually responds when I tell her to come, but thinks Daddy is playing with her when he tells her to come. In fact, she intentionally veers off in another direction! For now, I am more preoccupied with catching her from her trips and falls. We've also set up our room such that she can almost roam freely. Of course, there are boundaries like the bathroom, Daddy and Mommy's bookshelf and the fan that she is not allowed to touch. I'm glad I'll have more time with her soon to see if I can substitute anything instead of just saying "no, no, no". I try not to say it so much because it seems to be showing in her vocabulary now. Well, that's another story...

Other than this quote being related to child training, I was also thinking that sometimes we adults are really grown up kids. I was thinking, doesn't that sound like us? And perhaps it is biblical as well, that we 'put off' our old conduct that is undesirable or wrong, and 'put on' (substitute) what is pleasing to the Lord. I think in biblical counselling this is done too. Take away a sinful word, thought or action and replace it with a godly response.

:: Text in Photo ::

Challenging myself to do quick pages. Perhaps simplicity is the key when time is of the essence. With David absent, I guess I do have a little more time in the nights to get my creative juices going when Hannah is sound asleep. I thought this shot could tell a story. The 'I'm looking' part isn't meant to be a sinister 'Aha I caught you!' kind of phrase, but one that tells us that children watch us all the time and learn from our examples. I am reminded by this page I created that Hannah is watching my life, and the way she will be brought up depends on how I am living my own life before God. Sometimes we adults think babies just don't get influenced by our habits. Although I know Hannah is not at an age where she can perceive such things directly, I do believe as parents we need to be ready for that day when it comes subtly. Hannah isn't going to be an infant for long.

Deuteronomy 6:5-6
"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart."

:: Discipline and Training outside the home? ::

I've been thinking that alot of training for Hannah has to be done at home. There are a few obstacles to overcome when we're out i.e. in church, in a restaurant, or just in someone's home. Hannah is usually quite different when she's out. It's difficult to calm her down when she's fussy and over-handling by loving friends makes her cranky after a Sunday in church. As much as I would like Hannah to be a little more flexible while we're out, I think being out and doing things differently from the weekday routine does irritate her too.

Noise pollution that disturbs others - This is a major one I would like to avoid. Hannah is a sweet baby, but when she isn't happy, her screams and crying are loud. I think I'm pretty immune by now so the noise doesn't bother me. However, others might just get a little irritated by a screaming baby. So to avoid that, parents and caregivers usually just give in (when in public). Anyway I don't think public discipline is the way to go. Moreover, others do not need to be punished while Hannah learns to behave.

The home does give me alot of liberty to teach Hannah. Of course, one can't go really far with a 4-month old baby (just in case you think I'm a strict mom =P). However, I am beginning to distinguish her cries. I couldn't when she was 1-2 months old. She has 3 main cries now - the I'm-hungry/my-diaper-is-wet-cry, I-want-to-be-picked-up-cry and I'm-sleepy-and-irritable cry. Now, at home, I've got things to do, like clearing up her messes, keeping the room clean etc. When she demands for attention I can't give it to her all the time, so I let her cry sometimes and it doesn't bother me. After all, she needs to learn sooner or later that she can't be attended to immediately all the time. I would end up being her slave. In contrast, in public I'm quick to pick her up because I don't want to inconvenience others with her crying. It's a happy baby that others like to be around, not a whiny screaming one.

I'm still grappling with these things. The bottom line is, I prefer to establish certain routines when I'm home so that when we're out, she continues to do what we've been working on at home. I certainly do not want Hannah to end up thinking she can get her way all the time in public either.

A penny for my thoughts.

:: Special Needs Workshop 7-9 April '08 ::

It was the last of 3 modules for that course, so skipping it even though I was on no-pay leave would be really troublesome because it's a course that leads on to a post graduate diploma etc and they wouldn't be having another one in the near future...so I decided I'd better go.

It was especially difficult to leave Hannah with my mom-in-law and my mom because she suddenly developed a 'sticky mommy syndrome' the friday before. This means that Hannah will scream her lungs out at all costs if she doesn't get her way. The moment she's in my arms, she stops immediately and behaves as if nothing even happened. sigh. So anyway, on hindsight, Hannah was quite happy without me in the day. I guess it's 'out of sight, out of mind' for babies. Now the syndrome occurs usually in the evening.

The 3 day course far far away in NIE was a taste of working life again. Away from baby and home was quite a challenge. I was physically in the course but my mind was really miles away. I wonder how I'll ever adjust to teaching life back at school...where I have to wake at 6am (or even earlier?) and probably get home in the evening, only to spend just a little time with Hannah before she sleeps at 10pm, and I get on with work again. Surely this is not the way God intended life to be for mommies. I strongly feel that we don't give birth to children only to have them taken care of by others while we slog away in the working world.

In conclusion, I am still seeking God's direction for my life with regards to work and family priorities.

:: Daddy's Soccer Buddy in the making? ::

Had a rough night. Hannah woke up at 2am for a feed and refused to go back to sleep. She ended up keeping Daddy and Shu Shu company during the champions league. Guess what time she finally succumbed? 5am in the morning. Her recent behaviour is baffling me and reminding me how I need God's wisdom in handling her.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it?

This is what I have to remember for now. I think my previous entry was too simplistic. I shall clarify later.

:: The Problem and the Answer! ::

The Problem

The past few days after the injections have been pretty puzzling for me. Hannah has been crying alot and she cries to be picked up. She doesn't want to lie down...she doesn't want to sit in her bouncer...She just wants to be carried - almost ALL of the time she's awake. At first we attributed it to the jabs. She still is a little irritable sometimes when handled. Then I began to wonder if it really was the jabs, because it's almost a week ago that she had them. So, after agonising within myself and asking God for wisdom in this matter (whether Hannah is just being difficult or if she really has a need), I decided to do some research.

My mother-in-law bought this book The First Three Years of Life for me and my sis-in-law. She used it when David was a baby! :) Anyway, it has been really helpful because I've learnt much about a baby's development and what to anticipate. I must admit I have been a little lazy of late to 'keep up' with Hannah's developmental process. But today, almost at my wits' end, I decided to try.

The Answer

The answer was found in a section called Capturing Adult Attention: The Emergence of Intentional Crying.

This new tool, the intentional cry for company, which soon will develop into a demand, comes in very handy when your baby is bored and frustrated, a condition that begins to become commong during Phase III (i.e. 3.5-5.5 months). ...Although he is full of curiosity about the world, he is still unable to move about on his own to get close to those intriguing things out there. Day after day, he will spend increasing amounts of time, alert, looking around, dropping small toys without being able to retrieve them, and, in general, becoming frustrated then bored. What to do? The cry is the only tool he can use to find something to do.

It seems Hannah might just really be bored and frustrated. She wants to look around, take in new sights, hear new sounds and try new things. Today I began to be a little frustrated that she was crying all the time when I put her down. She really stops when I pick her up! So twice I took her out. Once to Ikea for a stroll and another time to the park nearby. And during these times she was perfectly quiet, just looking around till she finally dozed off.

It's very convenient for me if Hannah sleeps all the time, but I need to remember that she is growing and learning everyday. Of course, we'll have to tread very carefully in this. I can try my best to let Hannah explore the world, but I believe she also has to learn that she can't have her way all the time. It's such a thin line sometimes - loving and caring for her vs not spoiling her. We'll have to watch for the demand cry some time at 6 months.

Motherhood is really quite a new experience!

:: Rocher is an example of a badly trained child ::

This is a just-for-laughs post - but very real. Credits to my dear husband. We were talking about training a child...and he was thinking about dogs? hmmm :)

For those who do not know, Rocher is our Beagle. We got her from the SPCA about 5 years ago. She was abandoned and estimated to be about 5 years old. She loves beef jerkys, rough play and walks at the park.

Now if you want a prim and proper, well-behaved dog who never poos in the garden or bites your slippers, they need to be trained from young. Owners usually send them for obedience training - the usual 'Sit, Stay' stuff. Rocher has relearnt some stuff (e.g. her name - she used to be called Bella in the SPCA hahaha) but she is hopeless at many other things. We do love her inspite of all that she cannot do.

Anyway back to the story. Rocher was especially cheeky today, which probably sparked off these thoughts from David.

So Rocher is an example of a badly trained child because:

• She obeys only when you're looking - Rocher loves to sneak into the house or run up the stirs into forbidden areas when no one's looking. Today was a cold and rainy day, and she decided that she would be warm and snug on my mom's carpet. So there she was when we came down for dinner. She got chased out immediately.

• She tests how far your tolerance will go - Being the people-loving dog that she is, she likes our company and will join us at the dining table when she can. We don't really want her too close to Hannah now because she's still a baby. She sometimes lurks around Hannah. When we shoo her verbally, she just stares at us. She only scoots off when we get out of our seats and approach her. That's testing us...and how long we'll let her defy our commands.

Anyway I've suddenly forgot other examples that David was telling me about...so I'll complete this post with his help another time :)